Table Talk
This train ain't slowing down.
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I’ve debated scrapping this post entirely, because I have a case of the dreary wearies.
It’s hard to think about the holidays when the world feels like it’s on fire1 –
My body is tired, it’s been a nonstop month, and it feels like Halloween begins the runaway train that doesn’t hit the breaks until January 2nd…
But of course when I had resolved to pitch this entirely, Hamer was flitting around the house in his mccaw costume and I surrendered to something more akin to gratitude and anticipation. Of course it’s my children who can snap me into focus.
I began to think about the creeping warmth of the holidays…
The glowing tapers, the fuzzy records, and the slightly rose tinted memories that match the etched glassware filled with champagne punch.
The bowls of cranberries and the stringing of oranges. The bickering of siblings and the post meal cozies. The edges of a fire and the hiss of a log.
A dog curled at your feet and toddlers fresh in their jammies…
Maybe you have snow.
Maybe this year has been so hard you’ve said fuck it and you’re off to the islands.
May you be greeted by a balmy breeze that crawls through open shutters that snake around a painted porch.
I’m looking forward to being in our home this year –
We moved last Christmas – in what I can say was possibly the most stressful way to execute a cross country transition.
In November, I decided it was imperative that I attend the Eras Tour in Toronto with my sister after having been in NYC for work for a week…
Our movers arrived the following Monday.
We then lived in our home for a few weeks with only a mattress and the cribs.
We had packed for weeks, which meant that Halloween decorations were sparse and Thanksgiving was non existent. And when we arrived in Charlotte on December 15, a plastic bag lodged in our sewer system sent us packing for my parents on Christmas Eve…
This year, we don’t have to fly anywhere! And I vow not to overstuff our calendars. (Famous last words)
With that said, it may be inevitable to feel somewhat harried toward the end of the year, especially when most of the merrymaking falls on women and moms – Yet I wholly refuse to ensnare myself into a spiral of perfectionism. It is simply not worth it.
Your guests and children won’t remember the decorations or the specific dishes or gifts, but they will remember the way it felt in your home, and that’s all I strive to create.
Hosting is so much about your attitude.
Take the things off your plate that grind your gears most, and if it doesn’t bring you joy, don’t do it. If you are stressed, it shows.
In the past, we’ve always done our own thing in California for Thanksgiving with friends. I ordered my pies, cakes and sometimes the entire meal. I think my most favorite Thanksgiving was the year Hamer had a double ear infection (or something contagious) and we had to skip a much awaited friend dinner.
Of course I was sad to miss our plans, but a simple night just the three of us was perfect.
Some of (my) rules of thumb for the table:
Set it a few days early. (That is if you have a true dining room I suppose)
It’s so nice to have something to admire leading up to your party, especially when people pop by, and it gives you time to regroup if you are missing pieces.
I dig into my archives of china and glassware and lean on natural elements to decorate. I mismatch and alternate plates, and rarely do I have enough napkins.
For china, I lean heavily on auctions (LiveAuctioneers is a deadly addiction), flea markets and vintage honey holes. In charlotte, I’d highly recommend Clearing House and Sleepy Poet.
Linens are expensive. I definitely have sprung for a pricey table cloth or two that I have absolutely loved, but I think there are some workarounds. My mom is known to have used a (fabric) shower curtain - which I think is genius for durability. You can also find vintage lacey numbers in great shape if you know where to look. One of my most favorite tips is to rent! My friend Beth will pack you up a box to complete your table and you just ship it back. If you want to be unique and don’t care about a finished edge (or you’re a seamstress!), you can buy cut yardage.
For table decor:
obviously gourds + pumpkins but also pomegranates, cranberries, satsuma oranges (preferably with the green stem), artichokes… The options are endless! Pile them high, slice them open, make them a little cattywampus, anything goes.
Overhead lighting should be dim if on at all, and most of your light should be candles or lamps. Light your tapers before the main event. Let em get all drippy. Tea lights and votives are so easy and pretty. Vary your height for arrangements and light, and don’t be afraid to skip a floral centerpiece for smaller bud vases with impact. My favorite florals are generally either all of one bloom or a wild mess of heights and textures. Single peonies left to fall apart are stunning. You don’t want too many scattered and disparate elements, but a too neat table is boring (in my humble opinion.)
Kids Table
And don’t forget the little ones. The kids table can actually be a joy to pull together — less about perfection and more about play. I love setting it with butcher paper or a kraft roll for easy coloring, with a few jars of crayons at each seat. The Meri Meri table cloth is also always such a hit — festive, clever, and they buy you a few extra minutes of adult conversation while the kids get to “decorate” their own space. Pair it with Oso & Me pencils and you’ll have a setup that feels special. Sometimes I add a little place card with their name written in crayon or a candy tucked into a napkin ring — tiny touches that make it feel like their table matters, too.
For the bar:
I LOVE a pre batched cocktail – It’s always nice to serve a little something, and it takes the pressure of you as a host and your guests.
We do a negroni in a glass bottle like this and keep it in the fridge
(It keeps for quite some time)
Equal parts gin, Campari, and sweet vermouth
In lieu of adding water, I have frozen a core of ice (tennis ball can or slender jar), let it melt enough to loosen and drop into the pitcher
9 ounces gin
9 ounces dry vermouth
6 ounces water
6 dashes orange bitters
Cocktail picks preloaded with cherries or olives make such festive decor on your bar.
Of course you need a few non alcoholic options. (Cann being my favorite.) but also jazz up some water with rosemary and fruit slices.
Showstopper of a punch bowl. You can fill with fruit for decor, float gardenias or use as a champagne bucket.
For the food:
I am not a food blogger, but you know who is? Caro. You know her upcoming holiday menus will be fab.
We go simple – I do a green salad with roasted butternut squash, a zippy apple cider vinaigrette, goat cheese, a toasted seed or nut and pomegranate arils.
My husband does the turkey and the sweet potatoes to his grandmother’s specifications – served with a crusty bread with delicious salted butter, sliced radishes (very french) and olives on the table.
My grandmother had this dirty rice casserole that I just haven’t been able to recreate. It has slivered almonds on the top if I recall correctly?
Dessert from your favorite bakery is such a stress relief, unless baking is just absolutely your thing. I will say, a dump cake is simple and delicious (a cuppa cuppa cuppa as some would call it) I feel like you could swap apples for the summer stone fruits that first come to mind + cinnamon and nutmeg.
For service:
I followed my moms age old rule of labeling the platters (How fun are these!) – Ensures that you don’t forget a dish and that you have a place to put everything. Speaking of platters and serving ware - March is sadly closing soon.
I know some say coffee service is lame because it’s the damper to end the evening – but I just disagree. I love moving to the fireplace with coffee and pie or tea in a silver pot. Laney on the Hunt always has the goods.
So, with a little prep and an attitude adjustment, you can be ready for a stress free (stress-lite?) entertaining season.
I am now longing for the cold snap where candlelit and gratitude fills the room.
So whether you’re setting one long table that stretches the length of your house, or a few little mismatched ones tucked here and there, may it feel like ease. Light the candles, cue the records, let the edges fray a little. The holidays, for all their noise and nonsense, are about being together — full stop. I hope you find your rhythm, your glow, and a moment to look around the room and think: this is all we need.
Other loves:
Hudson Grace (Vintage)
Gluten Free Goodness: Mariposa and of course Accidental Baker if you are local to CLT
I hope you will join me in supporting our neighbors in this infuriatingly trying time for so many.
Do you have favorite traditions? Table top sources? Recipes? Let us at em.
Literally have about 15 tabs open now ready to shop. I'd love more hosting inspiration! Couples vs. ladies, self-serve vs. plated, sending people to certain spaces (i.e. this room not that room), managing dogs and coffee tables with cheese plates, ways to dial up the fancy vs. the relaxed. You are the GOAT of this!
Love this one!! Thanks for sharing.