Let's talk Body Image
Polarizing and oh so fun!
I texted a friend last week…
With all of the absolutely and objectively wonderful things I have going on in my life – bountiful work opportunity, a husband I adore, two beautiful boys, relative good health, prosperity and and a healthy pregnancy*…
Why in the sam hill am I distraught about how I look?
I’m the first to call bullshit on this sort of toxicity… If this sort of nonsense were coming from a friend, I’d likely stage an intervention.
However, I have struggled with my weight and associated body image since I was… 12? Younger even?
It’s a tricky reality that, if you want multiple children, it’s often just when you begin to feel strong in yourself again, (identity, body, otherwise) that you are tempted by the next baby.
I am graced with relatively easy or at least medically uncomplicated pregnancies, but I gain a trimester’s worth of weight the moment that sticks turns pink, I get genuinely uncomfortable far earlier than most, and my autoimmune conditions contribute to a level of fatigue and inflammation that I just simply can’t fight. I don’t feel all that well, so it’s no wonder that it’s showing in my body…
(It doesn’t help that I “failed” my glucose screen, have a raging case of SPD and my nose has taken residence in a new county. IYKYK)
But I know that most of it’s just… absurd.
Society, media, Instagram, etc. etc. etc.
I was incredibly fortunate to attend the Female Founder Collective summit with my talented team a few months ago. So many of the keynotes (more to come) were about founder-led marketing.
The gist: showing up online (unfortunately) is hugely important to the success of a fledgling business.
And yet, every single time I am asked or compelled to post, I am given pause by my current appearance…
I know I will receive flak for this.
Trust me, I am aware this take is;
Controversial.
Exactly how the patriarchy wants me to feel.
Fodder for consumerism and the shame of the internet.
Frankly, just a sad waste of brain space, character count, and time.
But no dose of body neutrality, self-love, mantras, movement, massage, hypnosis or vodoo could render me immune to this feeling.
In fact, walking into my doctor’s appt this week, a sweet older woman in the elevator just looked me deadpan in the face and said, “that’s a big ass baby.”
And ladies and gentleman, she’s right. And a big ass Mama too.
God willing, I won’t pass this to my kids, (takes work with every fiber of my being) but it’s my current reality and that’s just… that. And no, I don’t need affirmations in the comments, just links to stretchy and cute clothes please.
Just know that if you don’t love your body, pregnant or otherwise, I can shower you with love and positivity but the reality is that I just get it. And it sucks. I have exactly no solutions, just solidarity.
You may remember, I’ve been on a personal style journey, and even in pregnancy, I am trying to maintain a semblance of individuality. Perhaps it’s even more important now to really love what I wear?
SO, I am, unfortunately, in the stage of buying confidence. I am not a huge dress girl. It’s probably time to get more comfortable as I enter my final weeks and the temps creep up, but pants are where I feel most myself. Tricky tricky…
Recently, I have found a few pieces that make getting dressed a bit more streamlined, and dare I say, more fun? And, very few are true maternity, which means I actually will wear them past this stage.
Broadly:
JCrew: Doesn’t miss.
I ordered this in store and haven’t taken off other than to wash.
J Crew Linen Pant Sale!
Roucha is one of my most favorite brands for this, flexible?, time in life. All of their jeans have an internal drawstring so they appear structured but have some give. Really excellent for the postpartum size fluctuations.
All things Donni: I have fallen deep into a Donni trap. I wouldn’t say their pieces are revolutionary, but I find myself reaching for them most every day at this point.
Silk Stripe Crop Pant + Less expensive cousin
These are the perfect weight, especially for travel. The scalloped detail is just enough interest. Better with every wash.
I bought these and have worn for multiple events. Will carry me through fall.
Tempted by all of the gingham. Makes me feel confident and just fun enough.
These are loungier (read thinner and more voluminous) than their scalloped cousin. Wear to sleep or drop off. I have them in red and black and brown.
+Donni Linen Pant
Owned these prepregnancy, now a staple
I’ve tried lots of maternity undies. These are my favorite. Mostly cotton with just enough stretch.
These are just wonderful, I swear by these and the LaLigne Colby. Maternity or otherwise.
Similar to the Doen, which does not have an elastic waist.
Everyone deserves a new pair of maternity denim per baby, because they just don’t hold up. Love the straight leg here. Have tried cheaper, you will regret it.
I do own these still from Fox (or maybe even Hamer!?), still wear fabulously.
I bought this pre pregnancy and there are a few sizes left. Looks elevated and can be worn open.
I think this is so cute but I’m a little nervous about the one size. Try it for me!
Such a staple, at any stage
On sale!
I wear these most weekends.
I think this is the perfect summer T. Especially pregnant.
Sale!
Trust me, CBK ain’t got nothing on you. I bought the men’s. It’s longer. And washable. Perfect summer sweater
Bras I love - Pregnant or otherwise
Also a quick shout for the Perelel Prenatals
These are the only prenatals that don’t make me heave when I simply open the container. They come in travel packs, which is nice to throw in your bag. I take in the evening because it makes me less nauseous and they have magnesium.
*Sending all the luck and love and grace to those struggling to get pregnant.
You too may feel uncomfortable in your body, and that’s OKAY, no matter how badly you want your baby.
Please reach out if you are struggling to find relief (physically or emotionally) in pregnancy. I have spent the last few weeks building a team of providers to get me through to July, and there’s no shame in my game.
Sending you the biggest hug, Margaret! Being pregnant is such a vulnerable mental state for any woman -- I'm glad you're doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. <3